The best shape of my life

How'd I break loose? I Killed my ego.

When was I in the best shape of my adult life?

That's easy.  Yoga teacher training.

I completed over 200 hours of hot (100+ degrees) yoga over a 4 month period.  For 8 weekends I would take 4 individual classes (5.5 hours) on top of practice teaching another 10+ hours.  There was another 3 hours of required weekday yoga and somehow I scheduled in (some) half marathon training.

4 months remodeled a runner who could hardly sit cross legged into an athlete who could not only run, he could relax and hold deep bends, folds, and twists.  I have never felt more confident/comfortable in my body.  I slept through the nights and awoke without stiffness or soreness, ready for more.

What was the recipe?  It was the hours sweating on my mat.  

No wait, it was the miles on the treadmill. 

No wait!  More than anything it was the death of my ego.  

I sucked at yoga (I wrote all about it HERE).  I stuck out in class, and not just because I was a guy taking yoga.  I was the WORST, every time.  But I knew it was valuable.  I knew I wanted to move and feel like a yogi.  So I decided it was okay to fail at yoga.  No matter how humbling the experience it would be worth it.

I modified poses I couldn't do; I took breaks when needed; I embraced the kickstands yoga provides (the block, the strap, the bolster).  You know the ending.  I got into the best shape because I ditched my ego, embraced being a beginner and allowed myself to fail.  And fail.  And fail a little more.  But letting go of my ego in yoga was easy.  I had no emotional stake in my ability to do a Warrior pose so I wasn't upset by my failures.  I wondered what would happen if I ditched my ego in something I actually had an ego about?  

How much do you bench?

This is the way Men qualify their strength.  Not the 40 yard dash, not pushups, not the mile, not chin ups.  The bench press.  It was the measure of your manhood when I was a teen, as tt was when my Dad was young, as it is for my 16 year old nephew.  There are other ways to judge strength; but this is THE way.  

My bench was truly unimpressive.

There were times I would train it.  I'd throw a bunch of plates I couldn't lift well onto the bar; too insecure to train at the weight I should.  Instead of lifting smart at lower weights I'd tweak my back, or shoulder trying to look strong.  

The Bench spotlights every weakness inherent in my frame.  Benchers have barrel chests, thick, bulging arms, stacked on solid, muscular torsos.  I'm skinny with long arms and a bony frame; though I know that my frame limits my ceiling, benching made me feel inferior.  If I pushed up a new PR (personal record) I would feel good until I realized how far it was from what one would consider strong.  Instead of letting go of my ego and training the bench I pivoted.  I worked on other measures of strength: pull-ups, pushups, dips, kettlebell swings.  I was good at those.  They let me think I was strong.  They fed my ego.

But deep down I knew.  If you want to be strong, you've got to Bench.  It's the measure.  

My Nephew is in high school, and he's entered the weight room.  He asks me questions like 'What's the best diet to bulk, or what's the best exercise for shoulders'.  Then one day he asked THE question.  

How much do you bench?

I told him a number that was 20 lbs higher than my actual bench PR.  Why?  Because I'm insecure and I wanted him to think highly of me.

White lies don't hurt anyone, right.  But shit, this one did not stop bugging me after I told it.  Decision time.  Forget about it, or hit that number.  The first thing I had to do was find the right program.

There's a saying that what you're truly looking for will eventually find you.  I found the The 5-3-1  program.  It was created by a Man named Jim Wendler (Click on this link if you want to go in depth, or hire me, I can take you through it).  You're training the big 4 (Squat, Deadlift, Military Press, and, you guessed it, Bench).  Jim Wendler is a powerlifter.  When he commands you obey.  This looks like a guy who eats meat off the bone, rides a Harley and crushes beer cans with his fists.  His program was gonna be max lifts followed by eating raw liver.

In fact, the first question the program asks you is How much do you bench?

What happens next is what makes his program so beautiful.  To lift heavy, you train light.  The lower weights are calculated off your max lift so you're always lifting the correct amount for growth, while sidestepping injury.  To get truly strong, you're not pushing ego weights.  

I had my doubts initially, but I bought in.  I put my actual max weight in and followed through weeks of light warm ups, and short sets often performed at 65-70% of that number.  The weights felt too light.  There were times I had to lift light in front of other Trainers.

I put my head down and trained for 4 weeks.  It was time for a test out.  I put a weight on the bar that was 10 lbs heavier than my previous max.  

Crushed it.

It was so easy I threw another 10 lbs on the bar.  Maybe I am the Man I let my nephew think I am?

Crushed that one too.  This is the strongest I've ever been.  I'm arguably in the best shape of my life.

My bench presently sits at 185 (and rising).  I don't have the best frame for power lifting.  This means I can train you past whatever excuse you're selling as to why you're not stronger.  If I can do it I can train you to do it.

But first you've gotta dump that big weight you've been carrying around your neck.   

That's your ego.  It may feel like it's motivating you, like it's helping, but it's only holding you back.  

Drop it and you too may just get in the best shape of your life.